Why do we find certain things sexy, and other things un-sexy? How much of our desires are governed by genes, or culture, or individual quirks? From being turned on by “normal” things like a glimpse of an attractive body to the less mainstream attractions like fetish wear and pain, there are a variety of factors […]
Just Because You’re Not Into It Doesn’t Mean Someone Else Can’t Be
I want to address a common misconception I see in discussions of sexual preferences, in part because it’s helping lay a foundation for a discussion of sex work I’m going to explore in some upcoming posts. People seem to have this idea that if they’re not into it, no one else can be or should […]
The “Dating Rules” Idea
What’s up with the spate of rules that fathers make about dating their daughters? I’m sure you’ve all heard some variation of the whole “oh, so you’re dating my daughter, have I mentioned that I have a shotgun?” dating rules. Maybe they’re meant to be jokes, but they also communicate something very specific about what […]
Why Can’t We Just Talk About Sex?
I’m annoyed at our sex-phobic culture a lot of the time, for a lot of reasons, but today it’s specifically because we consider it taboo to talk about sex outside of a few limited contexts. When is it okay to talk about sex? Presumably with one’s partner(s) – though in the mainstream culture it’s assumed […]
It’s Not Okay To Judge Consensual Sex Acts
Sigh. Okay. I didn’t want to write this post, but I guess I have to. Consider me a reluctant defender of sexual freedom, even when the particular sexual desire under question does seem kinda icky to me. Here goes: as the academic cohort on the internet knows, a recent kinky sex ad went viral and […]
Sex At Dawn: Book Review
I wrote this review in 2011 when Sex at Dawn had just come out. Yes, I know some of my academic colleagues have problems with the book, and I don’t think it’s perfect… but I still maintain that it makes an important contribution to the conversation about the intersections of sex and culture. Enjoy! Sex […]
Don’t Send Dick Pics of Your Brain
In the final installation of my post series beginning with thoughts on how information is not an invitation and how it’s possible to sexually harass sex educators, I’ll talk about why it’s not just graphic sexual materials that are problematic. We all know, as denizens of the internet, that it’s impolite to send dick pics. […]
I Work With Sexuality, But I’m Not Immune To Sexual Harassment
This is a continuation of my blog post, Information Is Not An Invitation. Simply put, just because I work with sexuality materials as a career doesn’t mean I’m magically immune to sexual harassment. That would be cool, but it’s not the case. As I wrote in my post about sexuality in and out of context, […]