Where Do Desires Come From?

Why do we find certain things sexy, and other things un-sexy? How much of our desires are governed by genes, or culture, or individual quirks? From being turned on by “normal” things like a glimpse of an attractive body to the less mainstream attractions like fetish wear and pain, there are a variety of factors […]

Concepts, Culture     arousal, gender, kink, pleasure, relationship communication, sex, social conditioning, taboo

Just Because You’re Not Into It Doesn’t Mean Someone Else Can’t Be

I want to address a common misconception I see in discussions of sexual preferences, in part because it’s helping lay a foundation for a discussion of sex work I’m going to explore in some upcoming posts. People seem to have this idea that if they’re not into it, no one else can be or should […]

Concepts, Culture     bodies, consent, kink, non-monogamy, sex work, social conditioning

It’s Not Okay To Judge Consensual Sex Acts

Sigh. Okay. I didn’t want to write this post, but I guess I have to. Consider me a reluctant defender of sexual freedom, even when the particular sexual desire under question does seem kinda icky to me. Here goes: as the academic cohort on the internet knows, a recent kinky sex ad went viral and […]

Concepts, Culture     BDSM, consent, non-monogamy, sex positivity, stigma, taboo

I Work With Sexuality, But I’m Not Immune To Sexual Harassment

This is a continuation of my blog post, Information Is Not An Invitation. Simply put, just because I work with sexuality materials as a career doesn’t mean I’m magically immune to sexual harassment. That would be cool, but it’s not the case. As I wrote in my post about sexuality in and out of context, […]

Concepts     boundaries, consent, gender, harassment, sex